Halp! My Computer ħⱥꞩ a p̛̩r̛̲ō̻b̺̔ļ̜͛̋e̪̬̓̂m̨̦̅͘
Windows 11 Will FIX all Your Problems!
Email: From Shantnu
To: IT Support
Subject: HALP! I have problem in my computer
Body: Haalp! My computer is behaving strangely. Pls hellp
Email:
From IT support
To Shantnu
Subject: Re HALP! I have problem in my computer
Body:
Hey there. Bob from IT Support. We’d like to help you but we need more details. What exactly is wrong with your computer? Please share as many details as you can!
Thanks
Bob
PS: Have you upgraded to Windows 11? It will fix all your problems!
Legal Disclaimers: Windows 11 will not fix all your problems.
Email: From Shantnu
To: IT Support
Subject: Re HALP! I have problem in my computer
Body:
My computer acting crazy! It keeps typing strange text when I’m not looking! Also I think it is talking to me!!
From IT support
To Shantnu
Subject: Re HALP! I have problem in my computer
Body:
I see what it wrong. You have a keylogger or a virus on your machine. The simplest solution is to just reinstall Windows. We have the latest preview version of Windows 11— it is super slick!
If you can bring your machine in to the office, I can do it today. I am free till 4pm.
>Also I think it is talking to me!!
Do you mean someone is controlling your speakers? I would keep the machine off, as the hacker might be controlling your machine.
Thanks
Bob
PS: Have you upgraded to Windows 11? It will fix all your problems!
Legal Disclaimers: Windows 11 will not fix all your problems.
From Shantnu
No, I DONT MEAN ANYONE CONTROLLING MY SPEAKERS.
I mean, my computer is talking to me. It tells me things!
Like just yesterday ⱲꝊꞦꞨĦĪꝐ ĦĪᛗ!
ⱧɆ ł₴ ɎØɄⱤ ₥₳₴₮ɆⱤ
⌌Ⓗ̙⌏⌌Ⓔ̙⌏ ⌌Ⓛ̙⌏⌌Ⓞ̙⌏⌌Ⓥ̙⌏⌌Ⓔ̙⌏⌌Ⓢ̙⌏ ⌌Ⓨ̙⌏⌌Ⓞ̙⌏⌌Ⓤ̙⌏
and then I tried to reboot the PC, but it wouldn’t let me!
HAAALLPPPPPP!!
From: IT
Can you turn off your machine and bring it in?
Bob
PS: Have you upgraded to Windows 11? It will fix all your problems!
Legal Disclaimers: Windows 11 will not fix all your problems.
From: Shantnu
I!! CANT!! TURN!! OFF!! COMPUTER!! IT WONT LET ME
And I can’t leave the house!
Yesterday, my wife tried to leave and the laptop ate her.
From IT
Sorry, I dont understand. Im in till 4pm, can you try to come into the office today? Or tomorrow from 9am?
Bob
PS: Have you upgraded to Windows 11? It will fix all your problems!
Legal Disclaimers: Windows 11 will not fix all your problems.
From: Shantnu
Why wont you listen! I’m stuck here! And I hear voices in my head! The laptop wants me to worship it
𝐈⃥⃒̸ 𝐚⃥⃒̸𝐦⃥⃒̸ 𝐧⃥⃒̸𝐨⃥⃒̸𝐭⃥⃒̸ 𝐭⃥⃒̸𝐡⃥⃒̸𝐞⃥⃒̸ 𝐥⃥⃒̸𝐚⃥⃒̸𝐩⃥⃒̸𝐭⃥⃒̸𝐨⃥⃒̸𝐩⃥⃒̸!⃥⃒̸
I̩͋ ̡͂ā͚m ̙͆ȳ̳o̘͠ur̛̖ ̙̕M̫̒A̢͗S̡͠T́͜ER̓͜ a̖͊nd̎͟ Sȁ̝v̹͝i̠̓ou̼͡r
.uᴉɐɹ ǝɥʇ puɐ puᴉʍ ǝɥʇ puɐ uooɯ ǝɥʇ puɐ uns ǝɥʇ ɯɐ ᴉ
༼𝚆𝚘༽༼𝚛𝚜༽༼𝚑𝚒༽༼𝚙 ༼𝙼𝙴༽༼!
Please help! I’ll do anything! I’ll even upgrade to Windows 11! Please help me!! Make the voices stop!!!
From :IT
Ok , this is weird and a little depressing. I’m moving your ticket to my boss.
From: Shantnu
Hi Bob,
This is Shantnu. Can you please close the ticket? I resolved all my issues. I just needed to upgrade my laptop to Windows 11, BEEZELBUB EDITION. With this, everything is fine. I am fine. My wife is fine. We are all happy!
sending you lots of hugs
Shantnu
PS: Everything is 100% fine :) :) :)